One Week to Go

The unicorns have gone, one of the shortest lived species in the history of evolution. I know the monkeys will disappear in We Farm this week, but monkeys are much harder to love than unicorns. And they leave a bigger mess. Everyone knows that unicorns don’t leave poop where people can find it.

Why did the unicorns go? I think they were recalled because they were defective. I know it’s hard to believe, but take a look at this picture of a We Rule unicorn. Notice that it only has three hooves? What’s up with that. Whoever conjured the unicorns at ngmoco:) needs to work on their spells. There’s no excuse for selling lame unicorns to players.

Defective unicorns?

Still, I love my five unicorns—even if they do limp awkwardly across my kingdoms. They sparkle with joy whenever I pet them. It’s a shame new players will never have that joy.

We’re counting down to the site launch and I’m fine tuning the Hidden Grimoire‘s overall look. I hope you guys like this better than the pink WordPress template I used to set up the site. I think it’s certainly closer to the spirit of the game.

Carol (aka JennyManytoes) says she loves it, but since we’re married I don’t know if she’s being honest or kind.

The real Jenny Manytoes, our polydactl siamese cat, is pissed off that I started another blog because that means I have less time to pet her. Readers of iPad Envy know that Jenny is very opinionated. She gave We Rule a purr (four stars) during my review of the game and I had to overrule her and bump the rating up to make biscuits or five stars.

I told her that if I can build a large enough fan base, I can turn this into a book like the many books in the “Hidden Manual” series, and that will buy her a lot more of the special organic cruelty free cat food with 100 percent pure fish and no preservatives. It doesn’t matter; Jenny just wants to be petted now.

What’s on your mind?

Please comment or email me with

  • Issues you would like to see covered in the blog
  • Kingdoms you think are attractive or well-designed
  • Gripes you have with ngmoco:) that they have never resolved 😦
  • Tips or tricks that worked for you (I’ll give you credit)

See you after labor day.

Please email me at

Unicorn Firesale

Even though the blog won’t officially launch, I just wanted to remind you We Rule seems to be clearing out its Unicorn Meadows only two weeks after they introduced them. Of course they may keep the meadows and just remove the Level 3 access, but this sounds like a fire sale to me. Godfinger did something similar with the game’s Trojan Horse.

The price is still 120,000 coins so there won’t be a lot of Level 3 players who can afford them. So what’s happening? My guess is that ngmoco:) wants to move mojo. They’re hoping that all those players will pony up the five dollars for the 3o mojo that will pay for the Unicorn Meadow. They’ve already thought up more ways to squeeze gro (the We Farm version of mojo) out of their players in a few weeks than they did in the entire timeline of We Rule.

Just think of how badly you’ll feel when everybody else has unicorns and you don’t.


The soon to be extinct Unicorn

Let’s Go Fishing

We Rule's Red Dragon

While I’m setting up new CSS styles and getting a few blogs ready to post by Labor Day, I want to give We Rule fans a chance to check in on their feelings about the need for a “Gone Fishing,” or in my thoughts “Gone Questing” message for players on vacation.

I pretty sure know the developers thoughts: The iPhone is 3G and if it’s that damn important check in with your iPhone while you’re on vacation. Apple’s position: Buy a 3G iPad and check in on vacation.

But players who go backpacking in the wilderness and out of range of any carrier don’t want to choose between vacation and We Rule.

I’ve suggested that developers can at least create a decorative object for our kingdoms with a flag that says: “Gone Questing.” Buy it when you leave, sell it back when you return.

If you would like the dialogue to continue on a separate site to see if we can get more support, post a comment here. I’ll even forward your comments directly to the developers.

See you on labor day.

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Opening on Labor Day

Labor day should have great significance for our serfs. One day they would rise up and unionize. As benevolent rulers it is our job to make the kingdoms so pleasant they want to remain on the farms.

This blog will launch on Labor Day with my usual irreverent and occasionally off the cuff but rarely irrelevant take on the best way to make your kingdom prosper and take joy from the game.

I will introduce kingdometrics, my statistical models for deciding which crops to plant and which stores to visit.

For a preview of the fun, check ou the We Rule review that inspired this blog from my iPad Envy column.