Welcome to Mojo Anonymous

The twelve cobblestone steps

These are the twelve cobblestone steps of Mojo Addiction Recovery as outlined by Mojo Anonymous (MA):

  • Admit that we are powerless to resist mojo.
  • Acknowledge that a power greater than ourselves1 may need to intervene (unless our spouses get sucked into the game too and then we’re probably screwed).
  • Turn our lives over to that higher power before we lose everything to an even higher power (in this case bankruptcy court).
  • Make a fearless moral inventory of the items in our kingdoms.
  • Admit to our higher power, to ourselves, and to players with more wisdom than ourselves that we don’t need half the crap we buy since it all ends up in inventory in a few weeks any way.
  • Be ready to allow our higher power, or even more significant higher power (aka spouse, life partner or ball and chain) to restrict and or remove our access to our bank accounts and Apple ID.
  • Humbly ask our higher power to help us pare down our inventory and to seek accept only goals that can’t be achieved without spending mojo (i.e., none of them).
  • Made a list of all the friends we invited to play the game and beg their forgiveness for sending gifts which, in turn, tempt them to boost with mojo.
  • Made direct amends to to our friends short of paying them back for the mojo they bought to build stupid items to get us to shop in their kingdoms.
  • Continue to examine our inventory to remind us of the stupid shit we spent mojo so they we’re less tempted to do it again (e.g. 17 gold gondolas or shipwrecks that we can’t even fit in our kingdoms) and remember how few coins and experience points we receive in exchange for the mojo boost.
  • Find a different game that doesn’t have mojo, magic beans, gro or any other virtual cash that costs real cash (e.g., Max and the Magic Marker or Mondo Solitaire).
  • Help others resist their own addiction to mojo even if it means steering them to other games.

Denial is the surest route to failure. This little window is the first step in the domino of addiction, heartache and bankruptcy.

The MA model

MA is completely anonymous and our membership is acknowledged only to ourselves. We can reveal our participation but not the names of others in the group lest ngmoco:) target their kingdom with intensified marketing campaigns to break down their resistance.

Each new MA member will be assigned a sponsor who will make himself available for counsel whenever a new mojo sale is announced, or yet another item becomes available that can only be bought with mojo or as a gift that can be opened with mojo.

MA sponsors virtual meetings around the clock. Your sponsor will provide you with the meeting schedules. We don’t make them public to reduce the chances of mojo marketing reps showing up to undermine the players’ resolve.

MA is free, but not yet recognized by any known medical authority, mainly because the game development lobby is currently too powerful to compete with.


1We call this higher power the “weruler of our understanding.”back


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20 Comments (+add yours?)

  1. Superknight98
    May 30, 2011 @ 12:55:39

    How do you join?

    Reply

  2. pjsplantation/v3gasvamp1
    May 30, 2011 @ 13:38:37

    Totalthinker now I know where your name comes from..Great post!!!! From a non mojo addict, but an envious one who wants it all…but alas, I did just buy some mojo when it went on sale…. saving for sales on groves or farms…lol Have a Super Week !!!

    Reply

  3. marlene zenker
    May 30, 2011 @ 15:53:36

    Sign me up, will you be my sponsor???
    Plus ID marlenez

    Reply

  4. Lycopodium
    May 30, 2011 @ 17:07:29

    I’m a physician. I will gladly give you “doctors notes”.

    Great post.

    Reply

  5. Sarah Stroud
    May 30, 2011 @ 17:40:27

    Boy do I NEED this!! As an avid reader of your columns I love them all but I really got a good chuckle out of this one!
    Sign me up!

    Reply

  6. confuzed1
    May 30, 2011 @ 17:47:20

    I got all the way to level 60 without buying mojo.

    Then the pirate stuff came out, and I loved it.

    I wanted to create a properly themed realm, but I needed lake pieces, which are mojo-only. I was considering buying some and it went on sale for 20% off.

    I bought 300, and now that it’s on sale for 25% off, I find myself very tempted to spend again!

    I’m not an addict though… I can quit anytime I want…

    *twitch*

    Reply

  7. rob88249
    May 31, 2011 @ 00:38:48

    I can’t believe mojo is $75 for 2000 for you guys.

    Bloody ripped off it’s $95 in Australia for that same volume with 25% off What a disgrace!

    Helloooo ngmoco dont know if you have noticed but the Australian dollar buys more than the US dollar! I can’t believe they are screwing us over so badly.

    Reply

  8. JDTagish
    May 31, 2011 @ 14:59:16

    Anyone noticed that in the App store, WR Deluxe is now the #2 Top Grossing App, right under Pages? Holy Crap! I can’t even imagine how much money that has to translate to. No wonder they are so blatant about the mojo-only, shell out cash position they have taken. Even after Apple takes it’s 30% cut, that is some serious dough! Heck, if it was me, I’d probably be doing the same thing, knowing that if I can keep interest high and keep replacing players I can make enough money in a year to support myself for the next 10 years. But, as a consumer? Meh…

    I have finally been able to walk away from the game…I haven’t opened my old primary realm in almost a month. My secondary kingdom that I built up mostly off of gifts, (from level 30 to 60 – before that it was a no-mojo kingdom!) I only pop into occasionally, but I just don’t have the time to spend an hour or more a day harvesting stuff to keep it going. My apologies to anyone if you ordered something it it didn’t get fulfilled.

    I have tons of mojo sitting in the account – just in case I slip and something comes up that I can’t resist, but jeez! I had to redo the entire water realm to make room for the stupid shipwrecks – that’s what really did it for me. I spent 2 hours making room for that stuff when I could have been working on my yard or doing almost anything else.

    Maybe if I can keep resisting for another month, I can be a sponser…LOL!

    Reply

  9. chezmah
    May 31, 2011 @ 20:53:22

    you can be my sponsor.!!!!!
    i can handle the game, and i dont buy mojo, but the constant technical problems are begining to wear my patience !!!
    maybe i do need help to quit !
    in any case your story sounds like mine except for the fact that i have not yet taken the steps !
    bravo to you JD

    Reply

  10. Pjsplantation/V3gasvamp1
    Jun 01, 2011 @ 01:46:38

    Woohoo JD. cudos!!! It took me along time to break from VL but all their changes ruined the game. Then to FS. After a yr too boring and not enough improvements, then to WR. Was ez when started, but now I have 3 kingdoms and all the freezes and re sign ons is really getting to be much.
    Congrats and enjoy the summer and your yard…… : )

    Reply

  11. JDTagish
    Jun 01, 2011 @ 15:24:35

    LOL – Thanks guys! It was both easy and hard to do. Easy, because I didn’t quit out of pique. My work schedule picked up so much that I don’t have time to eat, let alone sit and play a game. Hard, because I instinctively tap on the icon whenever I open my iPad. Then I try to start a harvest or something, and my phone rings and it get’s put back down again.

    Coming back to it now, it seems almost overwhelming – trying to harvest all the battlements and groves, seems never ending. Maybe I should take out most of that stuff, and just make it less like work and more fun – something that can be done in minutes, rather than hours. I won’t advance as much, but then again I won’t advance much not playing at all either.

    Reply

  12. ravenpuff
    Jun 02, 2011 @ 04:12:11

    What is it with that caterpillar? It looks like the ugly, acid-tripping brother of Heimlich from “A Bug’s Life.” Seriously, that caterpillar looks like it needs to get rushed into the detox unit.

    Reply

  13. Superknight98
    Jun 02, 2011 @ 21:33:02

    Actually, I think it takes drugs. Look at the eyes. Probably buying from all the farmers who grow mushrooms.:)

    Reply

  14. Sir501
    Jun 03, 2011 @ 20:09:28

    Great article! Very funny. It’s quite appropriate that the Google add at the top of the article is for drug treatment/rehabilitation. I wonder if they have any counselors who specialize in Mojo…

    Reply

  15. chezmah
    Jun 04, 2011 @ 08:37:24

    i have only tinkered with the new goals by planting this and that. have bought no buildings and unfortunately (or fortunately) did not enter any existing buildings in my inventory before goals were loaded. wanted to check out the new system before engaging.
    having observed it, i am now hesitating. today the evil magician appeared and its very tempting to go ahead and purchase some buildings (that i already own and that after having served for the goal, will fall back into obsolescence)….. the decision is difficult as i am really tempted by adding that evil old coot to my realm !
    dilemma !!!!
    i cant help but feel that the new goal play will suck me into spending a whole lot more time in front of my ipad. its almost as if the original purpose of the game which i appreciated ie. creating little realms, is being replaced by an obsessive rush to meet goals whose intellectual value is questionable (at least in my perspective).
    buying a few new buildings to set off on the goals highway is one thing, getting hooked on another addiction is an other.
    on the other hand, if i dont follow on the path that ngmoco is so skillfully urging us to take, i am relatively sure that in a very short period of time, my game play will lose most of its interest.
    so…. what to do, what to do.
    open to any comments or insights on this question.

    Reply

    • Pjsplantation/V3gasvamp1
      Jun 04, 2011 @ 12:10:23

      Hey Chez, the goals aren’t so bad especially now that they’ve been “re vamped” a bit…no mojo only bldgs..the spreadsheet is a great help, and as for the inexpensive shops, if I don’t hav them already in inventory, I just buy one…. Yes the goals are more time consuming, but not too much more…talk soon have a great weekend!

      Reply

    • Jiji808
      Jun 07, 2011 @ 19:12:32

      I’m trying to do the goals with no mojo. Most aren’t too bad. Then there are ones like “build 9 serpents lairs” that I will prob just skip except that if u don’t complete goals u don’t get any new ones.

      Who knows tho. Maybe I’ll just buck up and spend the 2mill coin on the serpents lairs. It’ll give me something to do. I just hope my reward is a cool building and not coin and XP.

      Btw, anyone know which goal gives that cute flower shop looking house type thingy?

      Reply

      • pjsplantation/v3gasvamp1
        Jun 08, 2011 @ 13:39:10

        Hi its a Beautiful bouquet that gives you the flowershop, I havent seen it yet, but on my other realm it came after Lettuce us do this goal…

      • Jiji808
        Jun 09, 2011 @ 18:21:57

        Thanks!

  16. blkdiva
    Jun 04, 2011 @ 19:50:20

    With all the complaining about the game crashing, it doesn’t look good for We Rule. I thought updates were supposed to make things better.

    Reply

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